The Passion of the Jon (no sacrilege intended)

As I make decisions that will set the course for the rest of my life, I realize that there’s nothing that I’m sure I want to do for the remainder of the time I’m conscious.

I find myself wishing I were obsessed with something.

Or unreasonably exceptional at anything.

Alas! I’m fairly balanced and not passionately committed to any possible trajectories.

This has me wondering what makes something a passion? Is it something that I will retrospectively realize I was passionate about the whole time? Or suddenly come across and will want to spend all my time doing? Or is there not that one thing for everyone? Will I simply have to behave as though I’m passionate about something for the sake of a career?

The requirements for a passion surely can’t be based on time spent doing that thing, because if that were the case it could be said that I’m oddly passionate about washing dishes or testing the quality of kernels of corn (I can assure you, though, that I am not). Time spent must be a result of being passionate. So perhaps after spending enough time doing something it could work its way into your soul to become your passion?

Perhaps passion refers more to how the thing is thought about? If your thoughts cannot escape the thing, and there seems an unexplainable gravity about it, maybe that evinces your passion for it? Does forcing yourself to think about something constantly make it a passion, or aid it in turning into a passion? Does the definition of passion require that you don’t force it?

Do we need to be passionate about anything to live? (Passionate about something in life, I suppose, inasmuch as we don’t end it ourselves.) And I suppose this doesn't even skim the surface of talking about what purpose is.

It's interesting that Jesus got credit for The Passion for suffering and dying.

He evidently figured it out, all this business about passion—the pinnacle of all passions is suffering and death.

I suppose The Passion of the Christ plays out as much as The Passion of the Jon insomuch as being human largely entails suffering this life to die in a sort of teleological ellipsis.

I guess what I want to do for the remainder of the time I’m conscious is to be conscious.

The Passion of the Jon is incidental.